Messy is the New Strong

If there’s one thing that has stuck with me from university it’s this bold statement from my (female) Women’s Health lecturer:

“Women’s bodies are messy.”

Nineteen years old, innocent in hindsight; I made a face.

“We bleed, we sweat, we have curves, our bodies don’t return to our normal state straight after sex. We are left with the aftermath.”

I went to the bathroom before my next class, snapped my underwear and thought, fuck I’m gross. It wasn’t my lecturer’s intention to stir the pot of the insecurities I had, but to serve us with a spoonful of anti-feminist discourse. After a same-sex date and being called "too straight" (there's a spectrum, people!), a new wave of hetero was coming on so I dove right in. A cornflower blue-eyed stranger threw on the same trunks and said goodnight, while I was dying for that post-coital pee, shower and underwear change.

I’m in the fitness industry these days and a common reason I hear from women for wanting to exercise is to ‘fix’ their bodies and create an outflow of energy that they lack. I know exactly what they mean, but I wait for them to say it because you know, rapport building. They have a swift look around before leaning in and whispering, “I have no energy to be on top.” I relax back in my chair with a sympathetic smile and prescribe some quad and endurance exercises.

While we’re on the subject, fitness and sex go together like X-Pro II on a bathroom selfie. Both are a jolt on our systems. Our friend Oxycontin is released and brings us into the moment where our minds and bodies go off-grid. Instant stress relief; and not to mention an inexpensive form of looking younger and better sleeping patterns. I could go on.

Are women more accepting of their bodies because of this new-age gym culture? I think so. Ten years ago, when I was university, I didn’t have a gym membership nor did I know anyone with one. It was a luxury, not a lifestyle while the world was at the tail end of recouping its economic growth. Millennials weren’t raking in enough disposable income to blow on supplements and there was no Instagram for dolled-up girls in Gymsharks to share their staged reps with no sweat post.

Sure, product placement and a dramatic glute squeeze might bring you to the gym, but it won’t help you stay to see results.

“I want to sweat. I want to feel it now and the next day. But let me know if I’m pulling an ugly strained face.” That will.

When I first meet a client, I tell them to circle on a diagram which body parts they are not happy with. For women, one area is always the butt – it’s too small, too saggy, too flat; but never too big. Curves are now in vogue, but I find focusing your workouts solely on isolating the glutes is fruitless unless someone presents to me with chronic lower back issues.  The whole ‘real women have curves’ was never true; we are all real women if we identify as one. The ideal butt keeps on changing, there’s no point keeping up, just keep squatting and not only for the aesthetics.

My clients never reschedule when they are on their periods. Some brazenly don’t even wear dark bottoms. Gone are the days where women were advised to adjust their workouts or abandoned them during ladies week. Lower body exercises that activate the pelvic floor muscles like squats can push tampons out slightly so I always advise pads or menstrual cups just for the session. I find using the mind-muscle connection when performing upper body compound exercises relaxes the abdominal muscles and lower body to avoid added pressure in those areas. Also, when performed heavy and with correct form and tempo, it’s fucking hard. The more intense the workout, the less water you’ll retain and your body will reward you with a shorter period and endorphins.

I know my ladies are feeling empowered when they start taking control of the other parts of the messiness. Bloods, STI screens, pap smears, contraception, skin checks.

“I feel like I need to take care of all parts of my body now. Did you feel like this when you were my age?”

I look at my stopwatch. She's coming up to a 3-minute weighted wall sit. Not bad.

“I didn’t back then,” I say. “Things were different and I was ignorant and ashamed.”

“Keep talking… it's helping… of what?”

I smile. There's some nostalgia in thinking about a time when I was young, stupid and out of touch. But there's a lot more in the years after the day you decide to fix your mindset.

“My messy body. Time’s up. Relax.”